


Compressing Diamonds

by Yallsehood



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Big angst, Bones Breaking, Broken Bones, Drunk Sebastian, Hurt, Injured Sebastian, Injury, Mentions of Death, Rain, Sebastian Angst, Sebastian might dissociate a bit, Shane Suicide Attempt mentioned, Shane saves Sebastian, Shane would be a good dad, Shane’s sixth heart event mentioned, Suicidal Sebastian, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Vomit, bones cracking, cliffs, drunk, no ships, strictly platonic, suicidal character, throw up, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:29:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29578905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yallsehood/pseuds/Yallsehood
Summary: (TW: Suicide Attempt)It was a plan he had for a very long time, but at the same time it felt as if it had just formulated seconds ago. Sebastian was making his way through the murky rain as he made his way to the infamous cliffs of Pelican Town. Maybe while there he could finally relieve his pain that he had been feeling. Everything was too much, and Sebastian had had enough.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Compressing Diamonds

It was a dead end. That is all he had been met with his entire life, and living in this town was such a huge reminder of that. It was not like he was any better really. All he did was lay around according to other people. He was full of so much more than apathy, but no one truly saw past that. Couldn’t anyone see how worn out he was? Sebastian knew better than to ever give himself a break. No one was happy with him as it was, and cutting himself some slack would likely result in things getting worse. Honestly, he wasn’t sure how things could possibly get any worse. Life always found away, didn’t it? 

He didn’t go out very often. Everyone who had ever met the man knew that he preferred to be inside. If he was more proficient in a mining skill, he would likely spend more time there. No one would be able to reach him; it was a bit dark too. The sun would not be able to reach him. Even so, Sebastian didn’t even like the thought of that. He longed to have a window in his room despite hating the outdoors. Besides, he’d been done there and got badly injured… 

The sound of a cash register opening pulled Sebastian out of his clouded mind. He swore it was cloudier in his head than it was in the sky outside; anyhow, his purple eyes flickered over to see Gus handing him so change. “You don’t usually buy drinks when you’re here. I’m guessing you’re taking this to go.”

“Yeah…” Sebastian mumbled. It wasn’t like there was a liquor store in Pelican Town, so he had no choice but to go to Gus. Besides, he was of drinking age. He wasn’t really expecting Gus to have the question him when his mind was too hazy to have answers.    
“Not a lot of people go out in the rain, do they?” Gus asked as he closed up the cash register and went to get Sebastian the alcoholic bottle he had requested when he walked into the Stardrop Saloon.    
“Mhm.”   
“I’m guessing you’re taking this to Abigail and Sam?”

That sounded believable. “Heh, yeah.” Sebastian said. He hadn’t met Gus in the eyes once. The bartender seemed like a nice enough man, but the emo was currently hoping to get away from people if he had the choice. He wasn’t entirely sure what Abigail and Sam were up to that night, so he was hoping they wouldn’t end up at the saloon. He doubted it. Sam never really liked being out in the rain anyways, right?    
“You’re a tight little group.”

“Sure are…”    
Gus just chuckled softly and shook his head. From what he heard from Robin, he should know that Sebastian wasn’t exactly any kind of conversationalist. He just handed Sebastian what he purchased and let him go. “Be careful.”

Sebastian just took it gently and nodded, “thanks.” That was all he said before everything became a blur again. He wasn’t sure what pushed him to go to the saloon that night. He was thinking about the fact it was raining so not many people would be there, but he wasn’t quite sure that was it. Sebastian was aware of the other motives he had; he supposed he was not expecting himself to make this far. Both in life and in this plan his brain had made without him expecting it to.    
Some people took silence to be eerie, and certain kinds of silence were. Sebastian would’ve killed for some kind of silence actually. There was this weight in his head, in his chest, and it felt like he was moving so sluggish. Everyone else was just faster, better, and at least had someone who cared about them. What was that like, huh? Sebastian would never know that, would he? He was stuck being this human who nobody wanted. It’s just like his thoughts weren’t his own anymore, and he had completely lost his own voice. Was that why he was so withdrawn? Nothing made sense anymore. Not a single question had an answer - not in his mind at least. Stuff never worked out. 

As he walked more south and to the west of town, Sebastian began wondering if he was really in control of his body. Did his body already have this path planned? It felt like his feet were walking themselves. Sebastian probably thought it was best not to question it, but that was because he felt almost too drowsy to even begin to think. He just popped open the liquor bottle and pressed the bottle to his lips. Ugh. He never really did, drink did he? Sebastian never really indulged in it. It always made him feel shitty just for thinking about it, and now there was a bitter taste in his mouth. How could people enjoy this? How did Shane and Pam live? It was just gross, but the bottle wasn’t exactly going to be finishing itself. 

It was a good thing he was a loner. Sebastian had said that to himself over and over again; he was just now more grateful than ever. If anyone was here right now, he certainly would not have made it this fair. It was sick that he was proud he’d made it to the cliff. Sebastian just felt like he was one step closer to being able to take a deep breath again. He didn’t have to be the person everyone else wanted to be anymore. Sebastian could just cease to exist. 

The night was dark, so Sebastian almost blended into the grass that was right by those cliffs. Maybe it was the way he was laying down… but it didn’t matter to him. He was just trying to drink his life away and roll off that cliff. Sebastian heard that some people were a lot braver when they were drunk, and he was hoping to get rid of them so he could finally stop everything that pained him. 

Little did Sebastian know, a little ways away was a man who nearly tried to do the same thing a few months ago was only a few feet away. If one was to ask Shane what he was doing there, he honestly wouldn’t have had an answer as to why he was there that night. It was as if something called him to that cliffs that night. Shane was a man of science, so he wasn’t one to believe spirits or fate or destiny or even Yoba, but for some reason he was walking when he heard Sebastian cough from drinking more of his dreaded bottle of alcohol. Shane’s heart nearly exited his body at that. What was a kid doing laying here drunk? Shane understood he once did the same, but Sebastian still had so much life ahead of him. The man was almost sickened by the fact a young man, who was about twenty-two, was sitting on a cliff looking down. Shane could guess what that meant. 

How did one approach someone in this situation? It was hard to think of the words, and Shane was beginning to think his tongue didn’t belong in his mouth when he decided to actually start speaking to this troubled emo, “What are you doing out here?”   
Sebastian sat up quickly, and he coughed a bit from the burning in his throat. He just looked up at Shane with a cocked brow as his messy, not quite black bangs fell into his purple eyes. What was Shane doing out here? Normally, Sebastian could come up with clever, sarcastic, or a witty answer, but his mouth was working a lot more than his brain. “Wanna go down.” He shrugged, his words slurring together. He’d been drinking for quite some time now, and that bottle was almost gone. Sebastian was something of a lightweight drinker too, so this much alcohol was not going to have good results. Sebastian would say his future self would have to do with it, but he wasn’t planning on having a future after tonight.    
Shane sighed, and extended his hand to help Sebastian at least get out of the wet grass. He didn’t seem to flinch when the emo swatted it away. “Come on, kid. You shouldn’t be on the ground like that.”   
“What? ‘Ll get all dirty? Uh uh.” Sebastian shook his head three times as he went to press the bottle to his lips again, but Shane quickly took it. Sebastian looked at him slowly, and pointed at him a bit confused. “Dude, that’s… I wasn’t plannin’ on sharin’.”   
“I wasn’t planning on drinking.” Shane replied. He couldn’t think of a way to get rid of this bottle without leaving Sebastian here, but he was scared the guy would jump off if he were to leave him here unattended. While lost in thought, Sebastian had gotten to to try to get the bottle out of Shane’s hand with terrible accuracy. “Did you drink all this on your own?”   
Sebastian nodded. “Didn’t want nerves. Nerves ain’t gon’ stop me now.” He mumbled as he looked back over his shoulder. He stumbled back to where he was laying as he did, but somehow managed to stay on his own two feet. “Jump free as a bird. Heh, no one’s gonna bother me. No more expects…”

“Expectations?”   
“It’s the pressure.” Sebastian shrugged as if Shane understood what he was saying before making a gesture with his hands and explosion noise with his mouth. Sebastian’s brain was not fully functional really. Sebastian had made the plan to kill himself though, and it still seemed pretty clear he wanted to carry it out. Even just thinking about going home made Sebastian’s heart ache. When someone’s a kid they get told their parents will love them forever, and Sebastian never had a chance for that. Demetrius wanted him to get a better job, to quit smoking, be more like Maru, or just be better in general. Maru was distant. They rarely ever spoke. Robin had thrown away his comic book collection, and she always bothered him when he was working. If anyone loved him in that house, it was his mother though. Sebastian knew she tried… everything just felt different, and he felt out of place. 

As a silence grew, Shane watched as Sebastian started to look down. This was giving him a sense of deja vu he never thought he would have to experience. When Shane wanted to roll off the cliff, he was thinking he was the only one stupid enough to want to do so. Suicide was cowardly, right? Everyone else seemed brave enough to take life head on. Shane thought Sebastian was far too young to be considering ending his life. “Well, sometimes the right amount of pressure turns people into diamonds.”   
“‘M coal.” 

That was a very fast answer. Shane didn’t like where this was headed, but that was all he had been thinking about from the beginning. It just didn’t add up in his head. Shane gingerly placed a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder to try to steady him so he wouldn’t plummet to his death while stumbling. He had to get through to this kid somehow, but maybe the only thing he could do was tell Sebastian of the time he almost did what he was trying to do. “And you think this fall will kill you?”

“Yup.” Sebastian said, popping the ‘p’ as he did respond to Shane.

“I once did too.” He started. Shane saw Sebastian turn over and looked at him puzzled - or maybe he really was just drunk. He couldn’t stay focused on that. Sebastian might not be able to even comprehend what he was saying. Still, Shane had to try to get through. He was determined. “I know it seems weird, but I was once in your shoes.”   
“What the fuck Shane? Stay away from my converse.”   
“Will you shut up for two seconds?” Shane said. He sighed. Shane went to continue speaking, but he saw Sebastian was still reaching for the liquor. “Buh…” He sighed before throwing the bottle off the cliff. Sure, it was littering, but he would let it go for now. He had to focus on the topic at hand. He kept getting distracted. “Sebastian, I mean I tried to kill myself on these cliffs too.”

“Good spot…”   
“I suppose.” Shane sighed, trying to dismiss Sebastian’s comment so he could actually tell him the story. He didn’t want Sebastian falling into his slump. He didn’t want Sebastian to make similar mistakes, or start binge drinking, or do anything worse. Shane knew it only got worse from there. “I thought life was pointless, and I got too scared to jump off…” Shane looked down for the first time since it happened. He remembered when this drop looked favorable, but it only reminded him of a time he’d hate to revisit. “Sometimes things seem a lot more grim than they are. Every bad time passes. You don’t have to drink everything away because then it comes at you ten times harder when you’re sober.”   
“Won’t hit as hard as the ground… I’m gonna die drunk.”   
“Sebastian.” Shane said firmly. “You are stronger than you think you are. I know what I’m saying might not get through to you, but I’m going to tell you something that someone told me. It is ultimately up to you, but there are people who are always going to be here for you. People love you, Sebastian.”   
A grim silence passed through them. Sebastian wasn’t sure what to say. It was almost as if some of Shane’s words sobered him up, but then he started thinking about the people who cared about Shane. His aunt, Marnie, and his goddaughter, Jas, at home cared. Family… Sebastian didn’t think he had that luxury. He wasn’t the son Demetrius wanted him to be, he’d grown distant from Robin, and he barely knew his own sister. Not to mention, there was pressure on him to be someone he’s not.    
Slowly, Sebastian looked up from the cliff as he looked back over at Shane for a moment. The look in his eyes still came across clear this man wasn’t sober, but there was still determination in his next set of words. He locked eyes with Shane as he swayed. “You know what the difference between me and you Shane? I’m not scared.” Sebastian said, and he took a step off the infamous cliffside. 

Unfortunately for Sebastian, his foot got caught in a crevasse between two rocks. The way his foot bent saved him a few seconds before falling, but there was a loud cracking sound. During this time, Shane was able to wrap his arms around the thin emo’s waste and pull him away from the cliff. Shane’s hands nearly slipped from how wet Sebastian’s hoodie was from the rain, but he was able to drag him to safety. Sebastian hadn’t even processed anything as Shane brought him back onto his own two feet. Both of them. Some people argued alcohol numbed pain, but the shock from breaking a bone shot through Sebastian’s system.

“Sebastian?”   
The words felt like miles away. Was Shane even still there? Sebastian just felt his stomach twist and liquid sprint up his throat as if it was an olympic track runner. Maybe it was the fact he had too much alcohol, or the pain from breaking his bones, but Sebastian just leaned over and puked on Shane’s green sneakers. Shane wasn’t too phased by the ordeal. He has certainly seen, and certainly smelled, worse vomit in his time. Shane tried not to think about all of this as he kept Sebastian steady. “Se-”   
“Help me…” Sebastian begged quietly. He looked up at Shane as if he had finally come to his senses. Maybe Shane saving him really brought it to Sebastian’s attention that there might be a way out of these dark times. Shane was particularly a stranger to him, and he was willing to stand out here and try to save him.    
After hearing Sebastian’s plea, Shane moved rather quickly. Even though everything happened so quickly, Shane could recall hearing the crack from Sebastian’s foot. There was no way he would be able to walk. Shane just picked up the barely conscious man, and walked him all the way to Harvey’s. He felt terrible for contacting the man so late at night; however, medical emergencies did happen. Harvey was open to helping Sebastian of course, and he moved extremely quickly. Sebastian needed some help. 

The night seemed extremely long, and almost felt as if it had no end. Robin was contacted even though Sebastian was twenty-two. It was best that she was informed anyhow. Of course, Robin had thanked Shane for caring for her son. If it weren’t for Shane, Sebastian might’ve been dead by now, or in a worse state if the fall he was planning to take didn’t kill him. It was such a horrid thought. Sebastian still hadn’t fully come to terms with that, but hopefully through recovery he might. 

Nothing about suicide should be taken lightly, and it was hard to recover from. Shane knew it, and Sebastian was about to learn the same thing. There was more to life than this overwhelming negativity he was feeling lately. Sebastian wasn’t doing too well, but that didn’t mean things couldn’t improve with time. There would still be rough days, but Sebastian had the strength to get through them. It would take a lot more strength than he knew he had. There were people who believed in him. Things could still have a happy ending. Sebastian’s story wasn’t over yet; maybe he’d turn out to be a diamond after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey readers! I hope you enjoyed this fic. It was a lot to write. I’ve never written Shane before, but I really wanted to do this.  
> Also, if you are thinking about ending your life, I recommend reaching out to a suicide hotline. If you are going through something, it is always okay to ask for help. You are never alone in this world. 
> 
> Lastly, I would like to thank my friends who supported me when I came up with this idea and throughout my writing process. You guys mean the world to me.


End file.
